Don’t Let Fear Win
I think one of the best ways to put courage to work in our lives including work, relationships, finding purpose and serving others, etc., is to identify our biggest fears and explore ways to conquer them. I find that just acknowledging that I have fears and what those fears are, is really helpful in thinking more courageously.
A helpful way to look at courage, is to realize that having courage means you’re crushing fear. Fear is always present, but when you can take action in spite of your fear and overcome it, it builds a little spark of courage in you to build a fire that will destroy another, perhaps even bigger fear.
You see fears are often the obstacles in our lives that block our progress. They are inconvenient little things that we like to avoid because we tend to dislike change and discomfort. However, those inconvenient little fears are usually GIGANTIC blockers in our path that keep us from getting what we want and that keep us from reaching our potential. They become the excuses we use to avoid pain.
Here are some familiar ones:
- I’m doing good enough, better than most, why rock the boat?
- Most people who try to start their own business fail, so it’s too risky to try.
- I don’t have the money, the skill, the know-how, the time, the energy…yada yada yada…
You’ve heard all these before. Chances are you’ve considered them. They are ambition killing excuses that are usually just your fears masked in some B.S. you say to avoid the hard evaluation of what you want out of your life.
If we’re going to crush our fears and take control of our lives, we need to know the enemy we’re fighting.
The five basic fears we all live with are:
- Extinction—the fear of annihilation, of ceasing to exist. This is a more fundamental way to express it than just “fear of death.” The idea of no longer being arouses a primary existential anxiety in all normal humans. Consider that panicky feeling you get when you look over the edge of a high building.
- Mutilation—the fear of losing any part of our precious bodily structure; the thought of having our body’s boundaries invaded, or of losing the integrity of any organ, body part, or natural function. Anxiety about animals, such as bugs, spiders, snakes, and other creepy things arises from fear of mutilation.
- Loss of Autonomy—the fear of being immobilized, paralyzed, restricted, enveloped, overwhelmed, entrapped, imprisoned, smothered, or otherwise controlled by circumstances beyond our control. In physical form, it’s commonly known as claustrophobia, but it also extends to our social interactions and relationships.
- Separation—the fear of abandonment, rejection, and loss of connectedness; of becoming a non-person—not wanted, respected, or valued by anyone else. The “silent treatment,” when imposed by a group, can have a devastating effect on its target.
- Ego-death—the fear of humiliation, shame, or any other mechanism of profound self-disapproval that threatens the loss of integrity of the self; the fear of the shattering or disintegration of one’s constructed sense of lovability, capability, and worthiness.
In fact, science has identified at least 530 phobias that relate back to one of the primal five. Understanding where your fears come from is key to learning how to control them and control them we must!
Will Fear Stop you in your Tracks?
Fear is such a powerful motivator that it deserves an entire course just by itself. Fear, as a mechanism meant to protect you from danger, can keep you alive. But too often it runs amok, becomes perverted, and hobbles us. Fear of germs, fear of embarrassment, fear of flying, fear of failure, fear of rejection…there are countless fears that humans suffer from, many of them irrational and only exist to hold you back.
The point is not to eliminate fears from your life, but to smash the irrational fears that keep us from succeeding.
Your ability to identify, attack, and manage the fears that hold you back will be critical to your success. As Moninda Marube, 3rdNut Ambassador, puts it, “you can’t let yourself be in the position of letting fear be the dictating factor in achieving your goals, your dreams.”
In a previous post, Courage Exercises – 3rdnut I discussed ways to help you identify your fears. Once you’ve identified them, you are halfway there. Once you understand what they are and how they limit and artificially limit what you’re actually capable of, you can find ways to overcome them and put them in the proper perspective.
If you choose to live with courage, you’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish. Of all the human attributes, people admire courage above the rest. You will find others who admire and share your desire to succeed, and they will help support you on your journey.
DON’T LET FEAR WIN!
Get some inspiration here: Moninda Marube Overcomes Fear
I’m here to help you get in touch with your courage and connect you to a tribe of badasses that want to support your path to a courageous life.
I love to hear from you, contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org