Courage (Page 2)

Overcome Lack of Ambition

If you want to stoke your ambition, it’s important to know if something might be dragging that ambition down right now.  It’s also critical to understand how to use your ambition so that it doesn’t get twisted and take you off course.

Ambition can be a double edged sword and so how you pursue your goals matters.

So what kind of ambition do we want?  Blind ambition? Desire to be successful? Desire to do good?

Here’s a quote I like that relates to blind ambition… what do you think? 

“Ambition is not a dirty word. Piss on compromise. Go for the throat.”

― Steven Erikson, Gardens of the Moon

Let’s jump into firing up that ambition and renew our commitment to achieve!

To help you tap into your inner warrior, I’ve created a life-path roadmap with 21 unique human behaviors that help you reach badassery. 

I call it the Warrior’s Path, check out the full post on Ambition and the other behaviors that make up the Warrior’s path here: Understanding Ambition

Courageously,

Dave Trujillo

Founder and CEO 3rdNut Tribe

Why Courage Matters

Human Beings are not in the business of cowering and giving in to fear.  In fact I like to think that being Human is synonymous to being courageous.  Courage is the defining human attribute, with it we can do anything and without it, nothing is possible.

We are different because we developed the courage and intelligence to do the hard things that give us power over our destiny.

We’re the only creature on Earth that walks towards fire, calmly captures it and uses it to tame our world.  If we cannot acknowledge and conquer our fears, then we are doomed to be the victim of life.  As a courageous person, I know that you refuse to be the victim in life.

So in order to summon up our courage when we need it and use it to better our lives, we need to understand and start practicing our courage.  Fortunately, when we take these first courageous steps to reject fear, others are there who will join us in support.

Read more about courage here: Why Courage Matters

Visualization Exercises

It’s seeing yourself getting that job, that promotion, buying your first house, starting your own business or playing in the NFL.  Visualization is one of the most important life-tools to achieving your success.  It’s about stoking Desire within you to fuel your passion. 

The best visualizations are the ones that happen over and over, sometimes everyday.  That desire will burn in you and guide you to make it happen. Make this activity part of your daily routine.  If you can’t visualize where you’re going, your mind, both conscious and subconscious, cannot help you get there. It’s an incredibly powerful trick that your mind uses to make key decisions about how to spend your time, where to spend it and who you should spend it with.  

Here are some Visualization tips

★   Let’s Keep it Real.  It’s nice to see yourself as famous, wealthy, or successful at some point in the future, but if your visualizations are not realistic, then your mind will not be able to take concrete action to get you there.

Now, this isn’t to say that your visualizations can’t be audacious and grand, you just need to be able to visualize a path to get there. You want to create a path from stepping stone to stepping stone in a direction that will take you to your destination.

Consider that you are in Los Angeles and you want to bike to Denver. You can’t see Denver from where you’re at right now, but you can see signs to the next town on the route. Set your sights on the next town and that way, town by town, you will ultimately reach your ultimate destination.

If you want to become the next Oprah or Olympic champion, fantastic! You can do it. But to get there, you better visualize some goals you will achieve well before you reach the pinnacle…some concrete actions you can take to make progress.

How will you get started? Whose help will you need to guide you? Have lofty dreams and goals, but you must visualize milestones along the path that will get you there.

WHY – Why is visualization important?

★   Remember: everything you see around you was once an idea in someone’s head.

Someone had the passion and balls to take an idea and make it happen. You are not helpless in this world we live in, you are an active player in it.  You can do whatever you choose to do in life, so what are you waiting for? Begin by using visualization so your subconscious mind can help you find a way to make it happen!

Here’s my simple formula:

VISUALIZATION + GOALS = ACHIEVEMENT.

The subconscious mind is a very powerful tool when you’re struggling to achieve your goals. It constantly works behind the scenes, 24X7  to evaluate the opportunities and decisions that you make every day in your life. It often manifests itself in gut feelings that are hard to articulate, but you can feel them deep within you and they guide you to make decisions that align with your stated goals.

If your visualizations are strong, then when you make choices about what paths to take in your life, your gut will be there to either reinforce your decision or to gnaw away at you by telling you “hey, you’re on the wrong path”. Listen to your gut instincts! They are usually right.

As 3rdNut Ambassador and Elite Long Distance Runner Moninda Marube said, “Misery and Joy are both creations of the mind”.  The old adage about the glass being half full AND half empty at the same time is completely appropriate to this topic.  Your reality is what you choose it to be.  You can look at all your problems and determine yourself to be a disaster, or you can look at the possibilities, the opportunities, your strengths and assets and come to the conclusion that things are not so bad, you are not a disaster and YOU have the power to achieve your goals. 

★   You are what you do every day.  

If you say you really want to grow and succeed, there is a quick test you can take to see if you’re serious, or how to become more serious about achieving your goals. It can make all the difference. Take a careful look at your daily calendar. Don’t keep one? Well, you should start, but if you don’t, it doesn’t matter for the test.

I challenge you to write down your daily activities for a week. Pick a normal week if you can. You will probably be amazed, and maybe a little embarrassed at where you spend your time. Do you spend the majority of your free time watching TV? Skipping the workout? Spending hours on social media?  Do you include any time for yourself and for pursuing things that make you happy?  Things that Make you better?

If you evaluate the daily schedule and activities of successful humans, you’ll find they are busy filling their day with positive, life-affirming activities like collaborating with others, creating, READING, and doing! They minimize the activities that do not contribute to positive growth. Find someone who is successful and just copy what they do.

You will be amazed at how your feelings of self-worth and confidence soar after you start focusing on where you spend the bulk of your time. Create daily rituals that help reinforce positive and goal-directed behaviors. 

CHECKPOINT: I recently heard a feature on the radio that I want to share with you. The premise of the feature was that when asked, people generally say that their goal in life is to be happy. However, the things that bring daily happiness, like spending a lot of time with your friends having fun, are things that may provide short term happiness, but they keep you from focusing on the hard work of attaining long term success in life. Long term success brings satisfaction in life, not necessarily daily happiness. Know the difference between the two.

DON’T LET FEAR WIN

Change is hard and it can be painful, but change is required if you want to succeed.

You may find your friends and associates start to change when you decide to focus on your growth and success. It can be a little lonely to start because friends that don’t have the same focus and desire to succeed might feel left out and jealous of your new mindset. 

Don’t let the people around you, even the ones you love, take your dreams away from you. They may think they’re giving you valuable advice, they may be fearful that you will fail, but don’t expect anyone to understand and share your vision, sometimes you have to do it alone.  

But don’t let that stop you from achieving your goals! There are amazing support groups out there for people who want to do more with their lives, like the 3rdNut Tribe! You will have many opportunities to establish incredible friendships and partnerships that you will have for your entire life. It takes courage to make positive changes in your life, but you’ll never look back once you do.

Visualization goes hand in hand with setting goals, which we will cover in another post. You see, visualization is the movie you keep replaying in your head when you dare to dream about your potential… your ultimate success. The world will try to drown out that movie, so you’ll need to tamp down the noise and fear to see it clearly.

Watching your movie is a powerful way to kick start your desire and ambition to make it happen in real life. The clearer the imagery in your head, the easier it is to strive and persevere on your journey to make it happen. Your confidence and courage to do whatever is necessary to make it happen will skyrocket.

★  Reinforce that vision in your head, recall it often, take time to meditate on it.

Find quiet, peaceful places to reinforce and reinvigorate your visualization movie to help make it real to you. Don’t settle, have the courage to take your movie and set up the scenes that lead up to the final production.

Don’t ever forget that your success is in the hands of only one person: you.

Nobody else can really do anything about your success. You’re going to need to be tough, fight through the obstacles, and refuse to give up

Get some inspiration, it will help you put fear in its place.

When you are feeling fearful and indecisive, take a few minutes out of your day to get some creativity in your life.  Go for a walk, watch an inspiring video of someone who has overcome adversity to pursue their dreams.  Putting your problems into perspective will do wonders to get you moving again.  Have the courage to get out of your rut!

These exercises will help with visualization and help you achieve your goals:

★   Meditate and Dream –

Take some time for quiet reflection daily to build and reinforce your visualizations. Dare to dream big!  Close your eyes and think about where you will be in the next month, two months and further out.  Start fixating in your mind a specific desire.  Write your desires down and look at them at least twice a day.

★   Align your visualization movie with your daily activities –

Lay out goals and activities that will help you start down the right path. Write the goals down and then break down and record specific activities that help you achieve those goals.  You can’t boil the ocean in one go, so prioritize and work on the goals you consider most important first.

★   Write down your goals – 

Keep a list of your goals!  If you write these down and set up a mini plan on how you’re going to accomplish them daily, there’s a much higher chance they will become your reality.

★   Watch and read –

Look into videos on visualization (YouTube is a great source for this) and research recommended books to read for inspiration.

Start filling your time with positive, productive activities to slowly replace activities that don’t bring you progress or inhibit your growth. Rome wasn’t built in a day, so be patient, consistent and before you know it you will see a change in your life that you can be proud of!

Stay Courageous,

Dave Trujillo

Founder and CEO, 3rdNut Tribe

Don’t Let Fear Win

I think one of the best ways to put courage to work in our lives including work, relationships, finding purpose and serving others, etc., is to identify our biggest fears and explore ways to conquer them.  I find that just acknowledging that I have fears and what those fears are, is really helpful in thinking more courageously.

A helpful way to look at courage, is to realize that having courage means you’re crushing fear.  Fear is always present, but when you can take action in spite of your fear and overcome it, it creates a little spark of courage in you to build a fire that will destroy another, perhaps even bigger fear.

You see fears are often the obstacles in our lives that block our progress. They are inconvenient little things that we like to avoid because we tend to dislike change and discomfort.  However, those inconvenient little fears are usually GIGANTIC blockers in our path that keep us from getting what we want and that keep us from reaching our potential. They become the excuses we use to avoid pain.

Here are some familiar ones:

• I’m doing good enough, better than most, why rock the boat?
• Most people who try to start their own businesses fail, so it’s too risky to try.
• I don’t have the money, the skill, the know-how, the time, the energy…yada yada yada…

You’ve heard all these before.  Chances are you’ve considered them.  They’re just ambition killing excuses that are your fears masked in some B.S. you say to avoid the hard truths of what you want out of your life.

If we’re going to crush our fears and take control of our lives, we need to know the enemy we’re fighting.

The five basic fears we all live with are:

1. Extinction—the fear of annihilation, of ceasing to exist. This is a more fundamental way to express it than just “fear of death.” The idea of no longer being arouses a primary existential anxiety in all normal humans. Consider that panicky feeling you get when you look over the edge of a high building.
2. Mutilation—the fear of losing any part of our precious bodily structure; the thought of having our body’s boundaries invaded, or of losing the integrity of any organ, body part, or natural function. Anxiety about animals, such as bugs, spiders, snakes, and other creepy things arises from fear of mutilation.
3. Loss of Autonomy—the fear of being immobilized, paralyzed, restricted, enveloped, overwhelmed, entrapped, imprisoned, smothered, or otherwise controlled by circumstances beyond our control. In physical form, it’s commonly known as claustrophobia, but it also extends to our social interactions and relationships.
4. Separation—the fear of abandonment, rejection, and loss of connectedness; of becoming a non-person—not wanted, respected, or valued by anyone else. The “silent treatment,” when imposed by a group, can have a devastating effect on its target.
5. Ego-death—the fear of humiliation, shame, or any other mechanism of profound self-disapproval that threatens the loss of integrity of the self; the fear of the shattering or disintegration of one’s constructed sense of lovability, capability, and worthiness.

In fact, science has identified at least 530 phobias that relate back to one of the primal five.  Understanding where your fears come from is key to learning how to control them and control them we must!

Will Fear Stop you in your Tracks?

Fear is such a powerful motivator that it deserves an entire course just by itself. Fear, as a mechanism meant to protect you from danger, can keep you alive. But too often it runs amok, becomes perverted, and hobbles us. Fear of germs, fear of embarrassment, fear of flying, fear of failure, fear of rejection…there are countless fears that humans suffer from, many of them irrational and only exist to hold you back.

The point is not to eliminate fears from your life, but to smash the irrational fears that keep us from succeeding.

Your ability to identify, attack, and manage the fears that hold you back will be critical to your success. As Moninda Marube, 3rdNut Ambassador, puts it, “you can’t let yourself be in the position of letting fear be the dictating factor in achieving your goals, your dreams.”

In a previous post, Courage Exercises – 3rdnut  I discussed ways to help you identify your fears.  Once you’ve identified them, you are halfway there. Once you understand what they are and how they limit and artificially limit what you’re actually capable of, you can find ways to overcome them and put them in the proper perspective.

If you choose to live with courage, you’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish. Of all the human attributes, people admire courage above the rest. You will find others who admire and share your desire to succeed, and they will help support you on your journey.  

DON’T LET FEAR WIN!

Get some inspiration here: Moninda Marube Overcomes Fear

I’m here to help you get in touch with your courage and connect you to a tribe of badasses that want to support your path to a courageous life. 

Courageously,

Dave Trujillo

Exercises to help you get in touch with Purpose

I write extensively on PURPOSE because it is such a powerful, motivating force in our lives.  To boil it down to its essence, you need to think of your purpose as tightly coupled with what you’re passionate about in life. If you can tap into your passion and use it to fuel your courage, you’re unstoppable. 

I call this Purposeful Courage and it’s a different type of courage than something like being physically brave. Your purpose is the fuel that drives you forward.   

Now let’s contrast that with your job and career.  When it comes to the way you make a living, there is usually a misalignment that makes going to work a drag.  

Your passions and how you make a living don’t need to be the same and often are not.  But if you align these two parts of your life, then you are way ahead of the game and you have a great recipe for success. 

Even if your job and your passions are not one in the same, you can still find great fulfillment and success by pursuing your passions as your side hustle.  Start working to align the way you make money, together with what drives and motivates you and then you never have to work another day in your life.

Here are some exercises to help you understand what your passions might be and some ways to connect with others who can help you realize more growth and success doing what you love.

Remember, it’s going to require a little courage on your part to finish these exercises, but I know you have it in you! 

Finding Your Purpose Exercises

1. Cut through all the noise and excuses to dream of a time when you dreamed big…

Let’s begin by going way back to when you used to dream big.  Maybe you still do dream big…even better!  Take some quiet time without distraction to go through the exercise.

Step 1 – Remember what you were passionate about back when you were a young child. What got you excited and possessed your mind? Go through the following steps…

1.   Identify 3 – 5 things you were really passionate about when you were a child.

Take your time to revisit that time and feeling. Maybe you need to do a little meditation in a quiet place to get your mind ready for this. Which toys did you have and which toys did you want?  What did you obsess over?  Was it Sports? Stories? Building things? Exploration? Science? Music? Art? Adventure???  

1.   Got them? Write them down.

You will be writing down several bits of information during this multi-part exercise, so try to write it all down on one sheet neatly if you can. You can always start again if you need to.  I suggest a physical notebook or piece of paper and ink.  There is value in actually writing down your thoughts and intentions that make them more real.  It ties back into the power of Visualization.  

1.   Add 3 interests that you have developed as you’ve grown to adulthood.

Once your experiences grow and you have had a chance to explore the world a bit, your passions may have grown or changed.  Is it helping others? Teaching kids? Coaching? Love of outdoors? traveling? Computers? Ask yourself, “Where would I spend my time if money were not an issue?” Write these down next to your childhood passions.  How do they line up?

1.   Ask a good friend or family member.

Have the courage to ask a friend, or someone that knows you well what they think your interests, passions or strengths are.  This feedback could well be new information to you that might help give direction to your life.  Others often have keen insight into what your strengths are that you do not fully recognize.  DO NOT IGNORE what they say.  Write this down with your other notes.

1.   Now, do any of the passions from your childhood align with those of your adult self?

If so, that’s great because it gives you a strong hint of where to start. Highlight the connections on your notepad. If not, that’s ok. Just continue with a few areas that you are currently passionate about.

1.   Finally, is there anyone you know that is living your dream?

A passion that you share? Someone that has a purpose you greatly admire? Write those people down on your notepad, even if you don’t know them personally. Later in this exercise, you’ll search for additional people to network with.

Step 2 – Write it down and make it real.  Let’s talk about your bucket list.  In case you’re not familiar with this, it is simply a list of things you want to do before you ‘kick the bucket.’

1.   Write down the top 5 activities on your bucket list next to the interests you’ve written on your notepad.

If you don’t have a bucket list, spend a little time developing one. A bucket list is a really strong indicator of what your passions are, the things that you might do if you only had more money, less fear, etc.  Don’t ignore these thoughts, there is great power behind them! 

Don’t worry if your list is long, you can and should update it as you learn and grow, no problem. Just go through this exercise all the way to the end, then you can repeat whenever you get a new idea.

Step 3 – Use your sleuthing skills. Doing some exploration of what is possible may be quite surprising. There are people living large, making money and pursuing their passions like never before in the history of man and you should get out of your shell and explore a little to get some inspiration.

1.   Let’s do a little research.

Give yourself a few minutes a day to do this one. Go to a social networking site, such as Linkedin, or google for the forums and sites where people you are interested in congregate both personally and professionally.  Look for people (you don’t need to know them) who make a living or participate full time in each of the passions you wrote down. You can use the search tools to find companies, topics, and more. Have the courage to ask others about where to find special interest groups and associations.

1. Read each person’s profile and get to know as much as you can about what they do.

Visualize yourself meeting with them to talk about your mutual interests. What would you ask them? What would you tell them if they asked you what you wanted in life and how they could help?

1.   Write down a list of at least 5 or 6 people, more if you have time.

Oftentimes, these people are happy to speak with you and help because they are passionate about what they do and want others to join in their tribe. Really, I’m not making this up. They actively set aside time in their schedule exactly for this purpose. Overcome your fear of being rejected. Send them a message; their contact info is usually in their profile.  Just be honest about why you’re contacting them.   DON’T FORGET to set up an interesting profile with a picture first before you start reaching out to people you would like to meet.

That doesn’t mean everyone you contact will be open to helping, but remember that rejection is inevitable and it is part of the game. All successful people have been rejected, sometimes hundreds of times, before they had their breakthrough. Don’t ever give up! Persevere and wear rejection like a badge of honor. If you’re failing, that means you’re trying, and you should be proud of that!  Not everyone has the courage to try.  

I’ll give you a little sample of how to message someone you haven’t met before at the bottom of the page.

If you don’t get a response right away, be patient, and don’t be discouraged. People are busy, and you won’t get a response from everyone, but I bet you’ll have more luck than you think! It’s all about suppressing your fear of being rejected. Don’t ask, don’t get.

2. Meditation:

If you already meditate, great. If not, now’s a good time to take 15 minutes, find a quiet place, and prepare your mind to relax.  Find some simple breathing exercises online.  You will find that getting control of fear is often as simple as learning how to regulate your breathing patterns.  There is physiology at work here and it’s powerful.  More on breathing in another post.

Turn off your phone’s ringer. Make sure you’re in a peaceful and quiet place for this activity.

Step 1 – Start by visualizing yourself as safe, happy, and confident, with no worries about any external pressures that keep you from exploring your true passions in life.  There are many FREE resources on how to meditate that you can find online.  Find one that works for you and don’t give up.  Practice regularly until you start to understand the power of focusing the mind and breathing as part of a regular routine in your life.

Step 2 – Begin to visualize yourself taking part in each of the passions you’ve committed to memory. The order does not matter, but go through them one by one. If you find yourself spending more time on one or two activities, that’s no problem, just don’t skip any before trying to visualize yourself in that activity.

Step 3 – Imagine yourself spending all your waking time involved in that activity, interacting with other successful people who value what you do and want to help you become great at that activity. Spend enough time to thoroughly relax and explore each opportunity. If you’re interrupted, take the time to deal with the interruption and then start over. It may take you a few attempts to find enough peace and quiet to get through each of your passions and bucket list items.

The goal of this exercise is to truly think about what it would be like to spend your time in a pursuit that you think might align with your true desires, talents, and strengths. Dare to let yourself dream. You may identify something that seems crazy, but don’t talk yourself out of exploring all of your options. Your conscious brain is great at saying no, so you need to push past the initial roadblocks.

Step 4 – Did you come to any conclusions? Are you surprised by anything you discovered? Add your thoughts and keep them with your Purpose notes from the first exercise.  Maybe you are considering making one of your passions a hobby that you will pursue.  Sometimes we suppress our own interests because it doesn’t fit in easily with our family life or other commitments.  But if you deny yourself of doing the things you love and that fuel your happiness, you will have resentment and that negatively impacts those around you too.

Remember that you can’t get to where you want to be in one step. You need to start with visualizing what you want, commit to it, then you will craft a plan, step by step to move towards where  you want to be.  If you never start your journey, you will never get there.

Take a picture of your notes and keep it for future reference. When you want to go through this exercise again, you can always create new notes and see how your thinking has progressed or changed.

I would love to hear if you reached out to anyone and made a great connection. Did you learn anything interesting? Did your bucket list surprise you? Did it make you start to think about changing what you’re doing today to be able to accomplish those things? Share your thoughts with me at dave@3rdnut.com, I would love to hear from you!

LESSON RESOURCE

Sample Outreach Letter/Email: 

Dear  ______,

I discovered your profile while doing a research project on, <insert your area of interest>, a subject about which I am very passionate. I very much admire your work and hope to reach your level of success one day. I was hoping you might have a few minutes to allow me to introduce myself and ask you a few questions that could help me follow in your footsteps.

I look forward to hearing from you, and I thank you in advance for your time!

Sincerely,

<Your name>

<Your email>

<Your phone>

Note that on Linkedin, if you contact someone on Linkedin, they will typically check out your profile before getting back to you. I strongly encourage you to build a good profile on Linkedin. Just model your profile off of another person who has a lot of contacts and looks interesting.  Successful people are generally interested in other interesting people.  Be ready with a story of what you want to be and just be yourself!

Courageously,

Dave Trujillo

Using Courage to Get Anything You Want

The way to embrace your inner warrior is to be found through talking about courage, telling stories about courage, raising our expectations, teaching ourselves and our family about courage and taking action.

Since courage is something that you can choose, it stands to reason that the principals of courage and courageous action are something that can be taught, studied and practiced.  I created a life path with 21 unique human behaviors that helps you learn about and grow your courage.  I call it the Warrior’s Path.

Are you ready to challenge yourself?

Ready to commit to crushing fear and the obstacles in your way?

Start by reading the warrior’s path here: The Warrior’s Path – 3rdnut

Courageously,

Dave Trujillo

Courage Exercises

The truth is, if we’re genuinely afraid of something, we will do just about anything to avoid admitting to or confronting that fear.  That’s just human nature.  But it’s so important to our success to get those fear blockers out of the way, that we need to make every effort to identify and confront fear.

As we’ve discussed before, courage means many different things to many different people.  The point is not to beat yourself up over feeling inadequate, or to be paralyzed because your courage isn’t as strong as someone else’s, the point is to pick something in your life to be more courageous about and just do it.  You will find great satisfaction in confronting your fears and you’ll be able to do more once you start doing.

So the hard part is usually doing the deep soul searching to acknowledge what fears hold you back from getting what you want.  We don’t like feeling weak or helpless and so confronting fear can be really traumatic.  But until you are ready to admit, confront and most past fear, you’re limiting yourself.

I like to think of what I want my epitaph to say when I shuffle off this mortal coil…Do I want it to read ‘I would have done it but was too scared’ or ‘I did it their way’?  ‘Was too afraid to try so I don’t know what I could have done?’  You get the point.  Have the balls to take some risks, don’t give up and don’t let fear stop you from even trying. 

When you stop trying you start dying.

Ok, enough preaching, here is a practical exercise that we can do to start thinking about and acting more courageously in our lives.  The goal is to tackle one fear and use that powerful feeling to start admitting, and then confronting additional blockers in your life.

Part 1:

1. Get out your journal…what? You don’t have a journal? Ok, then just get a sheet of paper and pen.  You can get a journal later.  There is something powerful about handwriting, so I suggest you commit this to paper and ink.
2. Find a quiet time and place. and this is the most important part…. BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF! This is just for you and you don’t have to tell anyone yet.  Write down the top 5 fears/phobias you have.  They don’t need to be in any particular order.
3. Next, make a note on how these fears are blocking you from doing something in your life that you wish you could accomplish.
4. Now after you’ve written this down in ink, put your note away in a handy place and think about it every day for a week to see if you’ve done your best to identify the biggest fears in your life.  
5. At the end of one week, pull out your notes and update them based on your reflection. 
6. Answer the following questions.

Did you add or change any of your top 5 fears?

Did you add or change any of the goals that you determined were being blocked?  (You can have one fear that blocks several goals and vice versa.)

Note: Fear of humiliation or embarrassment is usually one of your 5. Is it for you? This is one of the most common and crippling fears that hold you back from trying new things.

Part 2: Time to take action Warrior!

1. Select one fear from your list that you think you could tackle with some encouragement and determination.  
2. Create a plan to confront and tackle your fear. If you have trouble, ask a friend to help. 
3. Don’t chicken out or procrastinate. Pick a day and time to act on your plan and WRITE IT DOWN!
4. Now just do it.  Let me know how it felt to confront your fear.  Was it a powerful feeling? Did you chicken out? Did you feel like a weight was lifted off of you?
5. Write down your feelings in your journal.

Note: There are lots of ideas you can google to help you create a plan to confront a specific fear/phobia you have.  While technically, there are only 5 true fears that we humans share, there are over 500 phobias that hold us back.  If it helps you to find a friend who will hold you accountable, I strongly suggest you ask them to help you. 

If you tried and failed to confront and overcome at least one fear, don’t give up, rinse and repeat this exercise until you make progress. One of the key benefits of going through this challenge is just acknowledging what holds you back in life so that you can recognize the blocker and actively push through.

Bonus points:  After you document your fears and how they are blocking your progress, then post them and publicly announce you plan to confront and conquer. Ask someone to join you.  Power is in the tribe….

I believe in you!!! You were born to do HARD THINGS and GREAT THINGS!

Courageously,

Dave Trujillo

Founder and CEO 3rdNut Tribe

The Courage to Try.

I’m guessing that like me, you might suffer from some level of insecurity and feelings of inadequacy.  I want to have a conversation with you about courage.  We’re all on the same path, but just at different places in our journey. I want to share my journey with you so that I may convince you that you have what it takes to crush fear and overcome. 

The reality is that we can become more courageous if we desire it.  Maybe we just need a wakeup call to fully realize that.  

It reminds me of how the Wizard of Oz converted the Cowardly Lion from a frightened bully to a re-born and energized Lion committed to showing real courage. His conversion happened because of an intervention where the former coward learned that real courage was about being honest, vulnerable and standing up for what’s right.  The Cowardly Lion is like many of us in that he needed some event to shock him into change.

Dorothy provided the intervention when she showed the courage to call out his unacceptable behavior.  Realizing that he needed to change, our Lion friend now only needed the Wizard to give him the perspective, knowledge and motivation to make the changes to be better.

I think the lesson we can learn from the Cowardly Lion is that our fears can cause us to act in ways that are weak and that cause us to get stuck in life.  We all need our Dorothy and our Wizard to both provide the intervention, and then the guidance to change.

It’s taken me a long time to overcome my feelings of inadequacy and insecurity, in fact I still deal with it every day.  I didn’t know that courage was personal, that no two people show courage in the same way and that you can actually grow your courage by learning and practicing.

We need to stop beating ourselves up for failures and instead realize that those failures mean that we are trying and stretching, growing and learning something.  The key is that we must DO and take action instead of just talking.  Failing, which in no way means permanent failure, gives us a base to build on as long as we keep trying. I sure wish I knew this when I was younger and wish I had someone to help me understand that reality.

Do you ever feel that if you could overcome a major fear in your life, that you might be able to do more? I know that is true for me and I draw courage and inspiration from you to help me confront my fears.  What do you want out of life? What are you willing to do to get it?  It might be much easier than you imagined if you are ready to make a decision to be honest with yourself.

Courage is the most powerful of human tools for success.  Since success favors the prepared, we should be nurturing our courage if we want to achieve our goals.

What’s courage all about? Courage is about choosing to act in spite of being afraid.  It’s a conscious decision and it’s a decision that only YOU can make.

Hmmm….acting in spite of fear…that means if we can manage fear… WAIT! I didn’t say eliminate it, I said manage it…. then we have the ability to accomplish something that we might not otherwise dare to even try.  Taking that action therefore allows you to remove an obstacle or to make progress. It allows you to try something bold and daring that might bring about a new understanding or breakthrough.  

So I equate courage with understanding and controlling, if not necessarily eliminating fear. That puts we humans, all of us, right in the hot seat.  If we can’t say that courage is reserved for superheroes only, then it looks like it’s up to you and me kid, and we have a lot of power when we choose to use it.

So, how does courage help us in our lives?  Easy.  In order to achieve anything meaningful, we have to actually peel our cheeks off the couch and do something. Then we have to finish it so that it can be put to use, shared with others, critiqued and improved.  Completing something tangible is key!            

Doing anything new requires us to try, to initially fail, and to try again until the objective is reached.  This requires management of fear because humans almost universally have a fear of failure.  However, failure is ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL to your progress.  It is how we learn and grow, period! So we need to fail, to learn and adjust. To do anything new, is going to require discomfort and failure. The more you do, the better chance you’ll find something that you love and something that is successful.  The more fear you can control, the more you can do.

Courage is the secret power that allows you to try, to fail and it also gives you the power to get up, dust yourself off from your failure and to try again.  Failure is NOT a sign that you can’t do something, it is a milestone along your journey to ultimate success.  Don’t give up!

“Show me a man who hasn’t failed and I’ll show you someone who isn’t trying.”

‘unknown’

Courage and fear are essentially two sides of the same coin. They cannot be separated.

We forget those that quit the race, but we never forget those that persevered until the end.

They are our Legends.

Putting Courage into Practice – Take Action!

As I mentioned, courage comes in many sizes and flavors.  Not everyone is going to be physically brave in the way that a firefighter or soldier might be.  But that’s the point; we all show courage in different ways and that’s what we want.  Diversity creates innovation that propels us to build on other’s achievements.  We don’t need to be courageous in every aspect of our life and we certainly don’t need that to achieve something great.

Sometimes courage is a solo activity, like when someone is battling cancer.  Sometimes it’s subtle, like the decision not to buy a company’s product when you don’t agree with their actions.  Many times we work together to do courageous things. Think of the peace movements of the 60’s and the anti gun-violence movements of 2018.  I’m not talking about a mob, that is a completely different human behavior based on fear and should be rejected.

The point is that courage is something that humans need to be successful.  It’s how we make progress, physically, mentally, spiritually and socially.  It’s what makes us human.

True Courage 

True courage is not about foolish, rash action, in fact it’s just the opposite.  It is an evaluation of risk and reward backed up by bold action AND a plan.  It is about being open to learning, experiencing and working with others to achieve your goals. Sometimes it means compromise.  Real courage is likely something completely different to what you learned.

It takes courage to admit a mistake because we fear the repercussions of showing weakness. That’s a survival strategy that has its place, but only in certain situations.. Have the courage to accept your shortcomings, to learn, grow and change.  And don’t forget to keep it silly.  Taking yourself too seriously will kill your ability to listen, learn and change.

Courage isn’t a game of chicken.  When it comes to courage, the old saying is very true..  “Discretion is the better part of valor.” There is no point in sacrificing yourself without achieving something that is important to you.

You have the power.  

You have the power to make a decision.

You have the power to make a decision to be courageous.

You have the power to make a decision to be courageous about something in your life.

That decision will lead you to a realization that our fears are what keeps us from achieving what we want in life.  Don’t let that be your story.

Choose the power of courage.

Courageously,

Dave Trujillo

Founder and CEO 3rdNut Tribe

Why Courage Matters.

Why does courage matter and why should I care?

There is a Chinese proverb that says “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”

Good advice.  If we haven’t planted our ‘tree’ yet, that’s ok, it’s not too late.   

So what do we do next? First we need to learn about courage so our mind will be in the right place as we go on our journey together.  

I’ll begin with a basic premise: taking control of your life requires courage. From the smallest decision of how to spend your time each day, to making life changing decisions, we constantly face choices in our life that are impacted by courage.

Every day, the choices we make, including non-decisions about where to spend our precious energy and focus, create a powerful story about our determination and what we want out of life.

Courage is a choice. Learning about and choosing the path of courage is the foundation for taking control of life and accomplishing things YOU want to achieve.

Are you happy taking whatever you get in life? Are you happy with living someone else’s life? Making their dreams happen at the expense of your own? Taking the crumbs that others throw your way?

I think you’re more courageous than that.

Courage matters because life is tough.  It’s going to throw all kinds of obstacles and barriers in your way every day, IF you let it. Courage is the best tool we have to stay on the path to success.  It’s the only tool we have to push through the fear, the pain, and the low times. It helps us persevere until all the barriers in your way are knocked to the ground.

Since courage is so important, we need to understand it, practice it and master it so that it is at our command to use every day, ready to guide us so that we make good decisions.  First need knowledge, so let’s get our heads in the right place.

Understanding Courage

What is a Human Being?  Hint: Human = Courage

​Courage is THE defining human attribute. Courage is what makes us human.  Humans are unique. We alone, out of all the creatures on this Earth, use courage to shape and control our planet, making the impossible truly possible. We are the only creature on Earth that calmly walks toward fire to capture it and use it as a tool.  We are the Fire Keepers.

From taming and harnessing fire, to inventing language and math, curing disease, creating art and music, to taking flight and exploring space, humans have used courage to master and control the world. None of these achievements were an accident. All of these milestones, and countless more, started as an idea in someone’s head that required bold action, nurturing, perseverance, failure, and the overcoming of all obstacles to finally realize success.

Courage is so powerful and so fundamental to our well-being, that we ignore it at our own peril.  So, what exactly is courage?  Let’s start with what it’s not. It’s not the absence of fear, it’s not about being unafraid, in fact, it’s just the opposite.

Courage is a choice. The choice to act in spite of fear. It’s about being afraid but deciding to forge forward anyway, doing something that might harm you, something that can bruise and crush your body and ego.

But you do it anyway because you know, in your head, it is necessary to succeed. You see, courage and fear are just flip sides of the same coin. They can’t be separated. When you act and think courageously, you vanquish fear.

Here is the key point about courage…some people say that you’re either born with courage or you’re not. Don’t believe it! That’s a cop out. The truth is we all have the ability to learn, practice and grow our courage.  It’s your choice to make and only you can choose…know that using courage to suppress and vanquish your fears means you can accomplish more. That’s the key to making progress.

Courage is not just one thing. We’re all born with different mindsets, different circumstances, different fears, but we ALL have the opportunity to be courageous in our lives in some way.  Your courage should not be compared to, nor can it be compared, to anyone else’s courage.

Some people are physically courageous, like firefighters or warriors. Others are mentally or spiritually fearless. Courage is a very personal thing and do not let others dictate to you what is or what is not courageous.  Begin by conquering small fears. That will spark a fire to tackle another fear, and so on and so on.

When we hate on other people who we don’t understand, we are succumbing to our base fears.  When we would rather fight someone rather than sit down and speak with them, we are showing fear and weakness.  When we are too embarrassed to ask others for help and too proud to show some humility, we are not acting courageously.  

So no matter what kind of courage you might have, no matter what your fears are, you can start in some small way to take control of your life. And you aren’t on your own! There are like-minded people who want to support you, want to see you succeed and they can help you get started. The 3rdNut Tribe is all about supporting each other and helping you get on the path to living with courage!

You may have many fears. That’s just reality and need not be a limiting factor on your ability to succeed. Don’t forget that some courage is better than none at all. It’s not an ‘all or nothing’ proposition.  We are all born with an equal opportunity to use our courage for whatever purpose we choose.

I want to plant a little seed in your head. Courage is contagious. When you act courageously in your own life, you inspire and embolden others to seek courage in their own lives.  So let’s grow our courage together and create a nation of courageous humans who aren’t afraid to take control and make life better for everyone!

Think about this for a minute…if courage is a choice to take action despite being afraid, that means that ANYONE can become more courageous. The decision is completely up to you and you alone.

When will you decide?  

Courage Matters

To FORGE yourself into the courageous warrior you were meant to be, join Courage Academy which has the knowledge, tools and tips to take you from a wannabe to a warrior that can’t be defeated!  

Read my next post about THE POWER OF COURAGE

Courageously,

Dave Trujillo

Founder and CEO 3rdNut Tribe

Of courage and fear, fear is the more difficult to define. It takes many forms and draws on primal insecurities – especially the instinct for self-preservation and an urgent need for the approval of our peers. Fear hinges on the potential for damage to our physical or psychic selves. While fear of death may be greatest, the fear of embarrassment is close behind – we harbor primitive instincts that drive us to conformity.

Courage is sometimes described as “doing the right thing.” Winston Churchill famously said that “fear is a reaction and courage is a decision.” That’s often true, but acts described as “courageous” may also be reactive. When a father jumps in front of an oncoming car to save his small child, is that not an act of pure instinct?

Such acts are observable in many mammals, and are not “courageous” in the sense intended here. A courage which faces down fear, which does the right thing despite the sensation of fear, could be described as “cognitive courage.” It represents not an insensitivity to fear, but a decision to act in spite of it. Cognitive courage is a character trait – a commitment to basing one’s actions on conscious decisions rather than instincts, fears or feelings. Courage, defined in this way, is unique to humankind.

The courageous individual must apply judgment in each courageous act — the exercise of courage requires a disciplined mind and strong values. Courage sometimes involves putting the interests of others above one’s own, but not always. Courage requires thinking and decision-making; it’s neither straightforward nor easy. Courage is a choice.

John R. Rogers
October 11, 2015